During our gathering at Sojourn yesterday I had one of those moments of clarity – you know one of those moments where something becomes stupidly simple and clear to you; so much so that you wonder how much more of your life is covered in haze. Anyway, as we were talking about the process of making disciples (be it in any trade or religion) – what really stood out to me was how personal the process is supposed to be. You see, disciple making is mainly a relationship thing. Someone comes along side of you and watches what you say, pays close attention to what you do, and then is supposed to repeat those actions until they have gained some skills themselves. It really is a beautiful process when done correctly. So, while I was sitting there, a rush of thoughts came to me, all centered around the process of making disciples –  many could become the subject of future blogs (how I was never truly discipled, how most American churches don’t disciple, how shallow our faith-walk has become) but one simple realization stood out the most.

There is a real difference between making disciples and making converts. “Converting” someone is all about getting someone to change their mind about something. A conversion can happen alone or in groups. It can happen through careful reasoning, a small amount of nagging guilt, dogged perseverance, a genuine epiphany, or by some electrifying emotional experience. Now nothing is wrong with a “conversion” but compare that to the disciple making process. It cannot happen alone, it must happen in a community of at least two. It is not an overnight process, it takes time. A conversion is a one time experience, discipleship is a lifelong process where the journey is the destination. Truly the biggest difference is that a “conversion” can be a very personal, private thing, while discipleship is lived out in a public relationship.

So now, here, today, is where my thoughts are on the subject. Did Jesus ask us to go and make converts or go and make disciples? Did he say to the twelve “come follow me” or did he ask them “if you were to die tonight…?” It seems to me that we have gotten that question mixed up? Sure some have been gifted as evangelist and have no problem pushing people to that point of conversion, but most of us, me included, have not been gifted that way and struggle with a lot of guilt over not being able to go door-to-door discussing a complete stranger’s eternal destination. But today, here I sit with the realization that I am simply called to be in relationship with people, and through that relationship, I am to teach people what I have learned about Christ. Now that is something doable, that is something I can be excited about, and apparently, that is what we have all been commissioned to do.

I am not saying that I have it all figured out, I am not even saying that it is my responsibility to completely fill someone’s cup. All God is asking of me (and you) is that I empty mine into someone else’s. That is my calling. And that is discipleship.

So, since we are talking, “if you were to die tonight….” Just kidding! May your days be filled with meaningful relationships as you journey in this life with God and may your heart be restored and renewed as you give your life away to someone else.

So, I was talking with Toby (my church planting friend and partner) yesterday about how difficult it is to plant a church. When you are first checking out the idea you will hear from a lot of seasoned church planters that it is tough, but you really don’t understand what they are saying until you are in the trenches and our common enemy is hurling hell’s kitchen sink at you. I have likened planting a church to the taking of the beaches at Normandy. The allies did not just roll up and take that beach in a day or two. The enemy had been there a long time and they had dug themselves in, so it was a hard, bloody battle and it took three long, difficult months to get that beachhead established. So, whenever you start a church you need to be ready for a fight – likely a long one.

Sojourn is the third church plant that I have been a part of and I have come to expect a fight, but it always surprises me that one of the bigger enemies that we fight as church planters is ourselves. It is so easy to get off track from the original vision that God gave you. It is so subtle how you begin to move in a different direction; never big sweeping moves, but small turns here and there that put you on a path to somewhere that you never intended to go – not always to a “bad” place, just the wrong place.

One of the biggest ways we find ourselves in that wrong place is by subtly placing the vision secondary to numbers and finances. It is an easy trap, after all we need this thing to work out because we have our family that is financially depending on it and we need more and more people to make that happen. And somehow the vision, God’s heart to ransom a people, becomes like a business. We start adopting what other “successful” churches are doing in the area without regard for whether or not it fits into the original vision. Careful, strategic planning gives way to an almost panicked searching for the “key” to making this thing work. And it is in those times that it is paramount that you retreat back into the original vision – back to that place that stirs your heart.

It is in God’s vision for His church that we will find strength to keep going. Though following God’s heart may lead us to do some things that seem counter-intuitive, it is in that awkward journey that we will begin to see vision become reality. It is in that dogged determination to see a broken people healed, a lost group restored, or a captive community ransomed that we can lead ourselves and our church out of that wrong place and back towards the place God originally called us to. The “vision in motion” is a beautiful thing, we just need to be aware that it is a fragile thing as well.

So I was listening to some Christian talk radio the other day (which may be a problem in itself, but should be a topic for later), anyway, the discussion was about sending our kids off to college with a firm foundation in their faith in Jesus. Now I must say that I am completely in favor of sending my child off to school prepared to face each day, so I at least agree with the premise of the argument. But underneath that premise there seemed to be something more going on; something I might say that a large majority of Christians believe and church leaders teach, but it is something thing that I am in great opposition to.

To set the tone I need to reflect back to my days as a youth pastor. So much of what goes on in student ministry is about relationship management. I would preach and teach the value of making wise decisions with our friends and the people we date. I would say things like, “Show me your friends, and I will show you your future,” or “your friends will influence and sometimes determine the direction and quality of your life.” — all things that I continue to press into my own children to this day. But inevitably I would see someone begin to form a relationship with someone that had nothing but trouble in its future. And many times as I would try to reason with this girl and point out the obvious bad direction of this relationship it would just fall on deaf ears. I could seemingly make the best case in the world for this young girl to leave this very “wrong” relationship (heck, sometimes I had facts and figures and a cool flannel-graph chart to back me up — churches seem to love the flannel-graph) but I would be met with a simple reply, “But I love him.”  It was as if all the facts didn’t matter. It didn’t matter that all the facts pointed to disaster. It didn’t matter that history showed that I was right. It didn’t matter that her beliefs did not make sense. It did not matter that he did not have a rational argument for why he was going to stay in the relationship. All that mattered was, “But I love her.”

Now flash back to this talk show. The host (and like I said most christians and christian leaders) had a firm belief that we are sending our children off to college unprepared for the challenges that lay ahead for them. Again, I also believe that we are sending people out of churches unprepared for life’s challenges, but here is where the rub begins for me.  The host, and apparently all of the guest and callers, believe that the answer to this challenge is to teach our children how to better argue for their childhood belief system. To which our first instinct is to say yes, that is it. After all doesn’t the Bible say in 1 Peter 3:25, “Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have.” Yes it does, but that is only part of the verse, it begins with this phrase, “But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord.” And it is here that I find myself contemplating the bigger answer to the question at hand.

If it is so hard to argue someone out of a relationship, why then don’t we spend more time helping our children to “set Christ apart in their hearts”? It seems to me that Relationship trumps Arguments every time. Now this is not to say that we do not need to understand the foundations of our faith, but it seems to me that a deep relationship with our Father would drive someone to understand more. And maybe we are missing the point by putting apologetics ahead of the relationship. How different would it be if, when faced with conflict over their faith, our children would just respond back with an unwavering, “But I love Him.” I know from personal experience you can’t argue against that.